i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize