im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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