I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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