either way he was missing a nipple.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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