Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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