I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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