Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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