mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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