Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
