Will you blow on my dice?
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize