i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
