Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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