I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
