Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
