everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
love makes seman taste better
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
