We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
