bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
