Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
