My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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