So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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