My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
