If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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