quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
