I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
you made out with another girl for some wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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