is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
