Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
