It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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