i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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