This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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