I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
