kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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