i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize