How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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