He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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