We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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