I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
