Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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