yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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