Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
