I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
