someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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