We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
