Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
