apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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