I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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