omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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