i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
