there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
