Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
