Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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