Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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