It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
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