Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
and she was petting her beer can
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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