What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
