she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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