I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
