My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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