his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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