just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
