belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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