operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
