It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
