I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
