PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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