you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The power of my boobs compel you
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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