fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
