singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize