and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize